On loss

There's a fellow author that just went through one of the worst things you can go through. The loss of your life partner. The connection to your significant other is a really deep one. It's one of the deepest ones I know of. I understand this because I woke up one morning before dawn to discover my first wife Patricia had passed away in her sleep.

You feel empty. A chunk of you is gone. It's very much like you're an empty shell. You walk along but you don't feel the ground. I probably wouldn't have felt someone chopping off my fingers at that time of my life. They weren't the other half of you. They were something more if that makes any sense to you.

You about have to relearn how to live because in a sense you died also at the same time. I liken that time to being a walking dead person. That's the closest I can describe it. I ate food only because I felt Patricia wanted me to. It sure wasn't because I was hungry.

For a time it's like they never left. You talk to them. There's actual conversations that goes on when you're out of earshot of the living. It's kind of funny but I actually asked Patricia for her blessing when I was getting with Brandy. She gave it. That was the last time I seen her ghost.